I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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