fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize
