Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Couch. On fire.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
