Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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