Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
