Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Are we still banned from the library?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
