it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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