Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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