i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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