You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
