Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
