You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
