also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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