I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
time to smoke my breakfast
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
