STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
