Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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