I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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