I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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