he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
