We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
