I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
