awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
