I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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