That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize