its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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