At least make sure they are 18
Why
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
