I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
