Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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