I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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