Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
