dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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