Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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