in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
