TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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