I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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