Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
