somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize