I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
