He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
