apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
