Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
How does one acquire holy water?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize