so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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