do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize