I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
