I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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