You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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