gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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