i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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