its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
