So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
