Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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