Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
