Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
