Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
