i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
