i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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