Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
