is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she smelled like a LAN party
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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