she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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