I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
