I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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